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2019 LORD BUCKETHEAD MANIFESTO
MONSTER RAVING LOONY PARTY
Nigel Farage to be sold off for parts.
Newton's Laws of Gravity to be renegotiated.
All doorways to be increased one foot in height.
Political debates to include swimsuit competition.
Pass new law to require all men called Allistair / Alistair / Alastair / Alisdair / Allister / Alister to pick one damn spelling and move on.
Shepherd's Pies required to contain at least 10% actual shepherd.
The Third Dimension to be extended, allowing us to make steps to provide a Fourth Dimension by 2030.
Provide funding for Royal Astronomy Society to come up with less embarrassing name for the planet Uranus.
Replace House of Lords with Palace of the Supreme Galactic Overlord .
Prime Minister's salary to be based on job performance as with all career criminals.
For over 35 Earth years, Lord Buckethead has reluctantly dabbled in public service around the planet. In UK politics His Lordship's campaigns have always been and always will be run, financed, and performed exclusively by UK citizens; while UK performers change with every election, the Intergalactic Space Lord character does not retire and remains a decades-long British tradition. Returning again in 2019, the current campaign is managed by volunteers, including Earthlings from the original '80s/'90s campaigns, at Synchronicity II London with permission from rights-holders.
Lord Buckethead knows he can win this time and, with your support by sharing a link to this web page lordbuckethead.co.uk, His Lordship has a chance to make Earth history.
After Lord Buckethead's notorious battle with U.S. Armed Forces during the summer of 1984 in the American state of North Carolina, His Lordship decided that the best way to take over the planet was not by physical force but by "normal" politics. His narrow escape, and subsequent stow-away aboard a transatlantic ship among its cargo of rubbish bins bound for Liverpool, led him serendipitously to Great Britain.
Long story short, his innocent tryst with Prime Minister Maggie Thatcher cost him the '87 election when she threatened blackmail.
The intergalactic space lord has also stood against Prime Minister John Major and yet again against Prime Minister Theresa May, losing by only a few tens-of-thousands of votes each time.
A couple of years later, the next incarnation of Lord Buckethead marched in London with a million supporters of a People's Vote to resolve the Brexit Crisis.
Subsequently, and increasingly so over the past year, His Lordship has received literally thousands of requests to run in the American 2020 election against President Troubled Dump. A Presidential Exploratory Committee has been formed to look into the viability of this venture while the Dark Lord partakes in a little well-deserved R & R with Lady Buckethead on an undisclosed tropical moon.
Most recently, after being paid an emotionally-disturbing, late-night visit by Prime Minister Boris Johnson in a tattered velour bathrobe, Her Majesty The Queen ordered Buckingham Palace on "lock-down" and personally flipped the Royal Bucket Switch, activating the emergency Royal Bucket Signal, to summon the next incarnation of Lord Buckethead.
So... the planet anxiously awaits... hopes... and prays for our semi-benevolent overlord's expedient return during this, one of Britain's darkest hours of need. You may join the Queen on Twitter @lordbuckethead to voice your personal plea for help.
YOU'RE INVITED TO PARTICIPATE!
If you're a legal citizen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and you'd like to volunteer to assist in the 2019 Lord Buckethead Campaign in any way -- including promotion of any kind, submitting campaign art & memes, writing comedy material for His Lordship, becoming a virtual intern, or even organising a rally at which Lord Buckethead might make a live personal appearance -- you may contact the UK Campaign Manager at firstname.lastname@example.org.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Above all else, Lord Buckethead would like to point out that this non-partisan, not-for-profit, comedic exercise in Democracy is a long-standing tradition, so be a Positive Force In The Universe by directing the misinformed and misled to the Frequently Asked Questions page at lordbuckethead.co.uk/FAQ.
All Hail Lord Buckethead!
Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher & Lord Buckethead
Prime Minister John Major & Lord Buckethead
"Last Week Tonight" & Lord Buckethead
FRANCE24 & Lord Buckethead
It's quiet. Too quiet.
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